Love Without Expectations

When we have expectations for an outcome, or we become addicted to an outcome, and we receive an outcome that is not what we had envisioned or hoped for, our expectations are then not met, and we are disappointed.

It may be something as small as letting someone go ahead of us in traffic, and they don't wave a thank-you. Or holding the door open for someone and they pass through without acknowledging that we are even standing there. We may feel disappointed. We may even feel anger. Is this cause for anger or resentment? We need to ask ourselves, did we do this act of kindness for the thanks we might get in return? Or did we do this simply for the kind act of doing it for the other person? 

We could go away from this experience feeling bitter and frustrated for the rest of the day, cutting off the next guy in traffic, and letting the door slam behind us on the next unsuspecting person coming through it. But will that make us feel better? 

Depending on how big our expectations are, they can cause us even greater suffering.

When we give our deepest love to another person, we may not always receive that love back with the same intensity, and we may feel devastated by that. But does that mean we will slam the door on the next person?

We experience who we are, by experiencing ourselves through others. So really, we are experiencing the love we already have, just experiencing it through another. It is very enjoyable to experience this love with another person, but if they don't act a certain way, we are disappointed again.

Were we giving love? Or were we taking it? Should we wonder if they are worthy of our love? (Isn't everyone worthy?) Should we keep this love all to ourselves? (Doesn't that feel selfish?)

We may need to look at why we are giving our love to another. Is it simply to receive love back, to feel validated? If we already have the love to give someone else, why isn't our love enough for ourselves?

If we choose to share our love to experience it, why be disappointed at all? It is already perfect. The act of sharing the love is perfect just as it is. No expectations.

Without any stipulations on it, we can give our love wholly and happily every time, and we will always have more than enough love to give away again, and again.  

And again.

So you may say, "Am I not supposed to get upset about anything? I have feelings! I am disappointed! I am upset!"

Of course we all have feelings, we are human. We suffer. "Suffer all you want!" I say. 

But when we really don't desire to suffer any longer, then is the time to change what we are addicted to, what our expectations are. 

This may sound simplistic or unattainable, but Jesus and Buddha have been teaching us this for thousands of years. (And the Beatles, but much more recently)

Our happiness lies within us. It is LOVE.

Give Love. Emanate Love. Receive Love. Love is all there is.

The receiving is in the giving.

Words Are Windows (or They're Walls)

I just started reading a life-transforming book: "Nonviolent Communication" A Language of Life, by Marshall Rosenberg.
I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Our words are so powerful...they can heal a heart, or start a war. If we speak with more compassion, there will be more compassion in the world.

Here is a poem from the book, written by Ruth Bebermeyer:

"I feel so sentenced by your words,
I feel so judged and sent away,
Before I go I've got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?

Before I rise in my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they're walls,
They sentence us, or set us free,
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.

There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?

If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words,
To the feelings that we share."

We must always remember that everyone is hurting in some way. Make your words ones of healing, not of pain.

A Radiant New Year!

A beautiful beginning to my new year started with my sister and her kids arriving. Then I brought them to the BAPS Sri Swaminarayan Mandir near my house. We attended the New Year's Eve service at Unity Church, with the burning bowl ceremony, where you let go of all the negative things from your life, writing them on a piece of paper and burning it...very freeing!

May we all let go of past grievances, moving forward in Love...emanating Love, Light, and Health to share with all sentient beings!

Namaste! Keep looking UP!